“I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.”—Joquesse Eugenia (via felicefawn)
I just finished the Blogilates Beginner Total Body video and holy crap. I’m exhausted and my extremities feel like jello, but I feel pretty awesome. I had to stop and adjust and things during the half hour video, but I finished it and I’ll be doing it again until I can do it comfortably and then I’ll move on to a different video. I mean, I was sweating and laughing and rolling around on the floor, but no other workout/exercise routine has ever made feel that.
Seriously. I’ve got two Leslie Sansone DVD’s, one the utilizes weights and the other uses resistance bands in varying strengths. I have a Marcy Platinum Home Gym. I have a Yoga mat and blocks, a medicine ball, and a beginner Yoga DVD. I am about to subscribe to this awesome PS3 app called GaiamTV that has all the Leslie Sansone and Jillian Michaels DVD’s, as well as numerous Yoga and TaiChi videos. I have the Fitblr community. I have Blogilates. I have SparkPeople to track workouts and food and stats read great articles. I just printed off the Blogilates/Arthlete “On Fire” printables. I have great music.
My only question is: why must over half of the workouts I like have to be on the floor? Do you know how hard it is for a 370 pound person to get up from the floor? Oh well. It won’t get any easier if I don’t get down and do it!
Don't diet. Don't count calories. Don't ever say 'I can't have that'. Don't let it be about punishing yourself, or restricting yourself. Don't say you were having a 'cheat day' or a 'one-off treat'. Eat sensibly, eat when you are hungry. Someone asks why you are eating that cookie/cake/extra slice of pie/huge steak? Say it's because you goddamn want to and you don't have to defend that to anyone, not to them and least of all to yourself. If you eat tasty and healthy food most of the time, your body will look after you when you want to eat tasty and not-so-healthy food on the other occasions. Be knowledgeable, be strong, be content in your lifestyle. Exercise. Don't exercise. Don't care about what others are doing. Their body is different to yours. Love your body first.
Just because I have a ''Fit tumblr'' does not mean that I always do everything right . It doesn't mean that I eat just healthy food all the time. I mess up,I binge, sometimes I skip workouts, sometimes I don't even want to hear about exercise.. but this is perfectly fine, because I always choose to keep going.
So I came to the realization that the colors I wear directly affect the way I feel. I’ve gained so much weight over the last 6 months and have just started back on the healthy lifestyle I’m striving for. Anyway, most of my shirts don’t fit well any more and most of my bright things are stained or make me look dumpier than I am. As a result, I’ve been wearing a lot of gray and black and been feeling just blah and down and very un-me. I’ve also been reading a lot of encouraging blogs lately and realized that I’m the most comfortable in my red tank top. I never really wore tank tops before because I was so worried about my fat arms. Well folks, it’s hot as balls here and I’m out in the heat quite a bit, I don’t give a crap about my fat arms any more. My arms are going to be fat whether they’re covered in a small length of fabric or on display for the world to see, so I’m going to be as cool and comfortable as possible and hopefully have so confidence as well.
So, I went to Walmart yesterday to hunt for some more tank tops as kind of a birthday gift to myself and I found the motherlode. Faded Glory had all these different colored tank tops with adjustable spaghetti straps (scandalous!) and made with a slight A-line so they nip in a bit at the empire waist and flare out from there. I had to get a larger size than normal because Faded Glory is made slightly smaller than say JMS, but I don’t care. I got bright pink and purple and sunshine yellow and bright ass blue. I’m going back for orange and green and teal and mint and coral and and and omg yes. I wore the bright pink one with black capris and my black wedges and I put my hair up in a bun with a bright pink gerber daisy stuck to the side and I freaking rocked it. I stood straighter and laughed and felt good for the first time in a long time. I even put on some mascara and lipgloss and earrings.
I’ve learned that I need bright colors in my life because they make me happy. I’ve learned that you can be confident and look good even if you’re a big girl. I’ve learned that being okay with my size is wonderful, but so is wanting to be healthier.
First of all…HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL YOU FABULOUS MOTHERS!
Okay, so I thought, “hmmm….it’s Mother’s Day and I can relax and be lazy”. Yeah, that’s so not happening. Not only do I have laundry and cleaning to do, I’m also so restless today. I’m thinking about walking up to the elementary school (it’s right across the road) and starting on Couch to 5K that I was supposed to start 12 days ago on May 1st. I’ve been rebloggin workouts and things that I had only liked to give me some inspiration. I can’t go to the gym because I got into some financial issues over the last 6 months and they closed my account for non-payment. BUT. I have a big screen TV and a large living room and the YouTube app on the PS3. I have Netflix. I have workout DVDs. And I’m finally going to my dad’s to get the weight machine he gave us out of the basement and set it up in my dining area since we don’t have a dinner table. He gave it us forever ago and I’ve been waiting for my husband to get it when my dad is off work, but I guess I’m going to have to do it myself.
My weight has ballooned to 375 lbs and I refuse to let it get any higher.
So, I didn’t take anything out to thaw for supper and decided on homemade waffles with sausage on the side. I’m mixing up my waffle batter and I ask my husband what he thinks about putting cinnamon in it because I don’t have any blueberries. He says, “I don’t like cinnamon.” *blinks* “WHAT!?” At this point I’m seriously re-thinking my life choices and contemplating divorce. I do not understand how anyone could not like cinnamon. It’s wonderful.
My neighbors, my husband, and I took our respective kids to the park this afternoon with the idea that while the kids played, I could walk the track around the park. I power-walked 1/8 of a mile before having to stop. Was I tired? Out of breath? Dying? Nope, none of the above. I had to stop because the balls of my feet (right under the big toes) felt like someone had taken a lighter to them. Apparently, my socks are too old and too thin to do the walking thing and left me with nickel-sized blisters on my feet. Oh well. I started to feel down, but then I realized that the important thing is that I took the initiative to get off my butt and do something. I was sweating and my thighs burned. I did something other than sit in front of the computer. And I soaked up some sunshine while I was at it. Definitely going to buy new socks and try this again soon!
So, I haven’t been on tumblr in a good while. I think I was embarrassed and I didn’t want to see daily reminders of my failures. I started the fitblr/SparkPeople/gym lifestyle change back in April. I was going to the gym 4-5 times a day, I was eating well, I was trying to make myself get on a better sleep schedule. I started this at 360 pounds and I had lost 15 by June. I was fitting into clothes I hadn’t been able to wear in years. I was proud of myself. Then I went to the lake and didn’t go to the gym but like 3 times the whole month of June. I went once in July and once in August and once in September. Each time I would tell myself that I would get back on track. By September, my sleep schedule was in ruins (I was getting maybe 4 hours a night) and my eating habits were in the toilet (lots of fast food and quick meals and junk food and soda). Then I got on the scale. 375!? No, that can’t be right. That scale is wrong. It needs a new battery. So, we weighed a 5 pound bag of flour on the scale. It was right. It was so mad at myself. This is the most I’ve ever weighed, the biggest I’ve ever been.
When I got my food money this month, I bought healthy foods. Less processed, less bad for me. I’ve been making good dinners for my family. I’ve been eating breakfast. I started back at the gym Monday. I’ve gone every day, except yesterday. I’m doing my weight training and my cardio. I’m sore. I’m trying to get my sleep regulated. I’m less stressed. I discovered I was happier when I was healthier and being proactive about my life. I’m happy to say I’m back on track.
LMAO! My husband tried to do that to me today. We were in the car and he was like, “You definitely need to to weight training to build more muscle.” I nodded then matter-of-factly stated, “Yep, I want to build lean muscle because the more lean muscle you have the better your metabolism is, which means I’ll burn more fat when I do my cardio. Baby, I totally know all this.” Know what his response was? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. SILENCE. BWAHAHAHAHA!
So, I basically took the whole month of June off and let myself just go. Like, BIRTHDAY MONTH WOOHOO NO HEALTHY ANYTHING! I didn’t even try to eat healthy, I didn’t go to the gym, I drank soda like a BOSS. Well, I just came back from a week at the week where I feel like I jumpstarted my fitness some. I did lots of swimming, climbing in and out of the boat (which was a feat in and of itself), and I walked everywhere. I also ate better meals and had lots of veggies and lots of water. So, today I’ve started tracking my meals again on SparkPeople and tomorrow I’m hitting the gym again regularly. Here’s to being refreshed and ready!